A Waste is a Terrible Thing to Mind (authors unknown)

Phone rings:
"Hello?"
"Hi Miz Pinson. This is the computer man."
"Yessssss..."
"Well, I'm supposed to fix your computer today."
"Sir, you have already spent three hours attempting to fix my computer, and it's now more screwed up now then before you came!"
"Well, it says heah, on this little piece of paper, that I'm supposed to fix your computer today."
"Didn't you hear me? You've already been to my house today. You were here for three hours!! What is your name?"
"Oh, this must be Ms. Pinson. Guess I dialed the wrong number."

Thanks to Maxine Pinson, author, LowCountry Delights

Dim Bulb Travel Awards via the Internet

• According to the Transportation Security Administration, airline passengers will no longer be asked routine security questions about whether they have kept a close eye on their baggage. For the past 16 years, airline personnel have been required to ask passengers: “Has anyone unknown to you asked you to carry an item on this flight?” and “Have any of the items you are traveling with been out of your immediate control since the time you packed them?” James Loy, head of the TSA, said the questions are being phased out because they create a hassle and have never prevented a bombing or hijacking. Given anecdotes like this one, we can see why:

I was checking in at the airport, when an ticket agent asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask!"

• "I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she couldn't complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched."
• "I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. Why? Too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore."

Los Angeles Times: In an August 5th article entitled “Missed Connections Travel agencies struggle to survive as online booking surges,” reporter Bonnie Harris noted that “online companies continued to profit from the more than 21 million consumers who are now buying their travel exclusively over the Internet. Priceline.com last week said its second-quarter profit more than doubled to $6.31 million, and industry experts said online travel bookings will top $26 billion this year--up 31% from 2001.”

Wall Street Journal: In an August 9th article entitled “Online Sites Keep Hotel Rates Low” , reporter Motoko Rich covers a report issued by Jason Ader, a senior Bear Stearns analyst. “Despite efforts by the hotel industry to fight back against discounts offered by online travel sites, the downward pressure on hotel rates could weigh on the sector even after the economy recovers. The report predicts online booking of hotel rooms will grow to $15.5 billion in 2006 from $3.8 billion in 2000. Most of this growth will go to third-party travel Web sites rather than the proprietary sites run by major hotel companies.

From the editors at Aristotle: “Keep track of the Internet demographics: On the Internet in 2002 over multiple categories of Web sites; men have regained the lead by the narrowest of margins: 50.1% to 49.9% -- don’t need to change your thinking here.

“But here is some new thinking for you: 20% of Internet users in 2002 are under 25 - smaller than most people thought. 20% are in the 25 to 35 bracket. And 60% are over 35 - so much for the “Internet is only for younger people argument.”.

From the Direct Marketing Association (DMA): “The combined B2C and B2B interactive marketing figure for 2002 will total $4 billion. Users will generate $36 billion in sales from this interactive marketing. Spend a dollar and get $9 in return.”

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