Sometimes even the language of Shakespeare is just not expressive enough to convey the frustrations of daily life in general, and innkeeping in particular. For those moments of major frustration, we offer Yiddish for Innkeepers.

First a few words about spelling and pronunciation. Yiddish is written with Hebrew letters, although many of the words are German in origin. Because it is transliterated phonetically into English, spelling varies widely. "Ch" in Yiddish is sometimes pronounced as it is in English (like chocolate), while other times, it is a guttural "H" sound, spoken from the back of the mouth, like you were clearing your throat.

Kvetch -- Complain: As in "who uses a $25 towel to remove makeup when..."
Oy! -- Oh! As in "I chipped the plate."
Oy veh! -- Oh, no! As in "I broke the plate and the pieces are all over the floor."
Veh ist mir! -- Woe is me! As in " The guests are 5 hours late."
Noodge -- to nag continuously, or a person who nags: As in "How many times do I have to ask you to take out the garbage?"
Schlepp -- drag: As in "All that luggage goes to the 3rd floor?"
Schmutz -- dirt: As in "Did they wear their shoes into the bathtub?"
Wus sol ich tun! -- What should I do? As in " They didn't tell us that they were bringing two kids with them."

There are often no words in English expressive enough to describe what we do. Ede Bookstein, Artful Lodger B&B, Ann Arbor, MI

As a native New Yorker some Yiddish words are just part of my vocabulary:

Schlmeel -- jerk: As in the person who spills their coffee on your best antique chair.
Schlmazel -- jerk: As in the person who was sitting in the chair at the time.
Meshugenah, also meshuggah -- crazy person: As in "what kind of meshugenah uses the fireplace when the air-conditioning is on?"

Carol Edmondson, Captain Freeman Inn, Brewster, MA

Schmatta - rag: As in what you use to clean the schmutz. Also a derogatory term for an article of clothing, as in "Did you see the schmatta that guest was wearing this morning at breakfast?" ?"
Loch im kopf -- hole in the head: As in "I must have had a loch im kopf when I decided to become an innkeeper!" ?"
Plotz -- explode: As in "If I have to tell the housekeeper to do that one more time I'm going to plotz!"
Yiddish has many wonderful words for "jerk," all with slightly different connotations. Some can even be used affectionately, but be aware that both "putz" and "schmuck" translate literally to a specific part of the male anatomy.

Janet Loewenstein, The Stone Lion Inn of Cape Cod, Wellfleet, MA Here are some Yiddish expressions I can't live without:

Chachkas -- small pieces of junk: As in "Some B&Bs have lots of chachkas on their shelves, dressers, everywhere."
Ungepachka -- fussy, overdone: As in a room filled with chachkas, or a fussy recipe with lots of steps.
Chalish -- faint, weak: As in "I am chalishing from hunger" or in the kitchen in the summer, "I am chalishing from the heat."
Ois kevorfen a gelt -- a waste of money: As in, "hiring a consultant is ois kevorfen a gelt."

Ellen Gutman Chenaux, Birchwood Inn, Lenox, MA

"At the end of every meal we take drinks in hand and go out to the dining room and circulate, chatting with the guests. We've always called that schmoozing. Our Black Lab Rocky, even knows the term. If my husband or I says, "Are you ready to go schmooze?" he'll grab one of his toys and head towards the dining room, where everybody will ooh and aaah about how cute he is and how good he was to stay out of the room during the meal. Rocky loves to schmooze!"

Yvonne Martin, The White Oak Inn, Danville, OH

Technology:: Philip Wolf, President of travel research firm PhoCusWright, projects that 50 million different people worldwide will purchase US$60 billion of travel online by year-end 2003. In a commentary entitled "A Bright Spot amid Dim Times," he explained cogently that:

• "One of the absolute key things you need to do very well this year is to leverage technology. There are pockets of accelerated growth and significant profitability inside an otherwise lackluster travel industry. The differentiator in virtually every case involves technology.
• "The business realities now made possible by Internet-based technologies are amazing. The pent-up demand for better, faster, cheaper ways to buy travel - leisure or business - is finally being satiated. Capitalism thrives on friction reduction and no lubricant can compare to the Internet when it comes to distribution friction reduction and the ensuing impact on travel commerce."

Research: The Travel Commerce Report covered a poll commissioned by Travelocity, concluding that "the majority of American travelers plan to vacation within the U.S. during the next year, taking a combination of short and long trips. Two in three Americans have made decisions about travel, leaving a third undecided. In comparison to a similar poll completed by Travelocity in December of 2002, this new poll shows Americans are shifting their attention to the more traditional vacation -- seeing the country and spending time with family and friends. More travelers now plan specifically to spend leisure trips with family and friends, up dramatically to 42 percent from 28 percent in December. Respondents who are undecided or do not intend to travel cited less concerns about the safety and inconvenience of travel than in the past; instead, those reluctant or undecided about travel say that economics and cost is a primary consideration."

A survey by the Travel Industry Association of America (TIA) shows that the Iraq war did not devastate the tourism industry, although certain sectors were severely affected. "Currently, 82 percent of Americans plan to take at least one trip this spring or summer. What became clear is that the sluggish economy continues to have a greater effect on the travel industry than world events. 45% of Americans who intend to travel this spring or summer have still not made plans or booked their trips."

"It would appear that the still soft economy and low consumer confidence continue to be the catalyst for travelers delaying their vacation planning," remarked William S. Norman, TIAA President. "It may well be that the next wave of the survey shows significant changes in booking patterns, as lower gas prices and the proximity of the summer season serve as a stimulant for travelers to make their plans." Continuing trends include a strong interest in car travel, short getaways, and visits to national monuments. A slight improvement in business travel was also shown.

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