You can never proofread carefully enough. Despite the computer age, terminal typos, mangled metaphors, and gruesome grammar are still with us. Here are some of our accommodation-related favorites, followed by our interpretation in italics. Caution: Some of these are a little naughty; we hope you won't be offended!

"Our room was bright and cheerful with white wicker furnishings, a baloney overlooking the courtyard, and convenient parking." Nothing like a baloney with a view. "And a cozy word-burning fireplace." Calling all editors.. "Plus a warp-around porch." Beam me up, Scotty. "Lovely quilts, padded rocking chairs, and ruffled curtains lend a comfortable air to guests." It's the well-rounded look. "Wall-mounted scones at each side of the bed provided inadequate lighting." Try toasting them. "A compact refrigerator and rubber ducky in every tub made the experience wonderful." Electrifying, in fact. "The owners furnished their home with comfort in mind, naming and decorating each guest for a different color." Mr. & Mrs. White, meet Mr. & Mrs. Mauve? "Ralph built the home himself and is beautifully furnished. Right out of GQ. This beautiful mansion was built by a railway magnet. Steel construction, right?

"The inn is plagued by the County Historic Society." Under quarantine? "The inn is popular for weedings and other functions, so ask for details when booking." Feel free to come to my house for a weeding anytime. "The fireplace was stocked and ready to light, with additional wood available in the hellway." Brimstone, too? "We stayed in the new edition, built in 1997." Now that's a big book. "Two rooms in the carriage hose." Three would be cramped, though. "Entering this 1833 Greek Revival mansion, you'll find the elegant decor tempered by the warmth of the innkeepers, who restored the house as an inn in 1833." Time flies when you're having fun. "She has lovingly restored this 1700s Colonial home with the help of her fiancée, who is in construction." We hope he'll be done soon. "This beautiful Victorian home is nestled along a meandering hillside of stately oaks." Those darn hillsides just won't stay put! "Your eyes immediately start to wander the walls in this guest room." Lucky they're usually attached to your head.

"Excellent atmosphere, hostility, cleanliness, parking, and attention to detail." Nothing's perfect. "Common rooms include the living room, sinning room, and library." Guess which is most popular? "The house is comfortable and warm, with many reading crooks." Nothing worse than an illiterate thief. "This wonderful country inn has heart-of-pine rooms filled with comfortable primitives." Friendly ones? "The upstairs suite has a day bed with a 55-gallon aquarium." The latest thing in waterbeds. "The Yellow Room has a canopy bed, fireplace, Jacuzzi, and a large dick overlooking the ocean." A popular choice. "Exceptional attention to detail, from the crystal decanter of pot in your room to your bed being made and fresh towels set out while you are at breast." A guy can always hope. "Soft trowels were supplied in abundance and changed every day." The gardener's choice. "Each guest room has a private bath, exercise room, hot tub, and two fishing ponds." Now that's a well-equipped room. "Our refrigerator was stocked with juice and snacks, as well as beach chairs and a small cooler for day trips." Perhaps a walk-in model. "Guests are decorated with lovely handmade quilts." So warm and fashionable.

Major advertisers establish their brand by spending millions in advertising, which is why the statistics are so high. Folks looking for DisneyWorld don't go to Google, they just type in www.disneyworld.com, and there it is. Individual B&Bs must still rely on search engines and directories like BedandBreakfast.com to drive traffic to their sites, but can enhance branding on a smaller scale in several ways:

1. Make sure that the name of your inn and your URL are as similar as possible, so that travelers who learn about your inn can intuitively type it into their browser without doing a search.


2. If the name of your inn and/or URL are a little complex, hard to spell, remember or hear over the phone, register additional URLs that reflect common misspellings of your inn's name. For example, if you own the Captain Phillipps B&B, consider registering these URLs, if available: Captain PhilipsBB.com, Captain PhillipsBB.com, Captain PhillipsBnB.com, Captain PhillipsBandB.com. Notice the different spellings of both Phillips and bed & breakfast.
3. Consider registering URLs that may be easier to remember than those with your inn's name. For example, if you own O'Donaghue's Inn in Smithville, try to register www.Smithvilleinn.com as well as www.odonaghuesinn.com. Registration costs are nominal, and your webmaster will create pointer to direct traffic from all these URLs to your home page.
4. Make sure that the name of your inn and your website appear on everything connected with your inn, from your coffee mugs to your confirmation letters, from your press releases to your postcards.
5. Be sure to include your website URL on your voicemail, for times when you can't answer the phone personally.
6. Be sure that your email address further strengthens your brand. It should always be something like relax@myinn.com, never myinn@xazinet.com.

Other branding suggestions? Please share them by emailing InnkeeperNews@BedandBreakfast.com.

Situation in Iraq: According to a February 16 article in the New York Times "The American travel industry is girding for war, with some travelers already shifting or canceling their plans to avoid any possible problems if there is an American-led invasion of Iraq. While the evidence is mostly anecdotal so far, travel industry executives say that they are seeing a broad drop-off in interest in international travel for this winter and spring, especially to Europe and the Middle East, and that many people who would normally prefer to travel abroad on vacation are choosing to stay close to home instead. 'We're seeing shorter domestic trips, more driving trips, more last-minute trips,' said Cathy Keefe, a spokeswoman for the Travel Industry Association of America, the industry's leading trade group." The article goes on to note: "A telephone poll in December commissioned by Travelocity, the Internet travel site, found that despite international tensions and the possibility of war with Iraq, 83 percent of the 1,000 people surveyed said they were at least somewhat likely to proceed with their travel plans this year; 86 percent said they were at least somewhat likely to proceed with business travel plans." More info…

Internet usage skyrocketing: According to a recent article in HotelMarketing Newsweekly, Elaine Sahlins, Director of HVS International San Francisco notes: "As consumers have become more and more comfortable with using the Internet to research destinations, locate hotels, and then book the hotel room, the importance of these reservations has skyrocketed. These room nights are consistently being categorized by individual hotel properties as leisure demand. Leisure travelers, according to the major hotel companies and consultants, are the only strong growth segment of hotel demand. […] Nearly 37 million of America's more than 162 million active Internet users have already purchased travel online. Online travel bookings exceeded $23 billion in 2001, and are expected to reach $63 billion by 2005. During 2002, while the use of the Internet for hotel reservations was surging, the hotel industry was suffering from the downturn in travel and tens of thousands of hotel rooms were empty. What happened when technology and new consumer behavior met a hotel industry in need? […] This year, we have all been hearing and reading about the growth of leisure demand and its importance to the post-September 11th recovery of demand for hotel rooms. Similar to trends experienced in the early 1990s, drive-to destinations are performing better than fly-to destinations and weekend travel has increased. But room rates in some of these markets continue to be depressed and, in some areas, continue to decline. Looking at the specifics, a great deal of the decline can be attributed to the Internet bookings. But labeling the Internet room nights as leisure is a misleading and dangerous trend. In fact, hotels would be better served to identify more specifically those guests that are booking online. During the week, most of those guests are probably the same guests that have a higher preferred corporate rate or used to pay rack rate, some six to 12 months ago." http://www.strategy-business.com/press/article/?art=313431&pg=0

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