Time For A Smile

In-air comedy club: Everyone wants to be a comedian, and the temptation is irresistible for some pilots and airline attendants.  After all, airline passengers are the definition of a captive audience.  Here are some announcements heard by your intrepid editor (honest!):

• “In the unlikely event of a water landing, please use your seat cushion as a floatation device, and take it with the compliments of our airline."

• “Please remain in your seat until the plane has landed, and the captain has turned off the seatbelt sign. If you stand up before then, we will assume you are volunteering to help us clean the plane.

• “If you’ve been living in a cave for the past 50 years and have never seen one, please watch this demonstration on how to fasten a seat belt.”

And here are a few pilot and flight attendant announcements more compiled by the TravelLady Magazine: 

• "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane...”
• "Thank you for flying XYZ Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
• “When the plane landed fast and hard, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker, ‘Whoa, big fella, WHOA!’
"
• “Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than XYZ Airlines."
• "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children."
• "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

 

• Heard on XYZ Airlines just after a very hard landing. ‘That was quite a bump and I know what you’re thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!’"

Travel Trends

Record demand forecast for summer travel by TIA and PWC: TIA predicts: “Despite rising prices, Americans will be traveling in record numbers this summer with Florida, California, Nevada and New York the top preferred destinations. Americans will take 328 million leisure person-trips during June, July and August 2005. While travel prices are up in the first three months of 2005, this will not discourage Americans from taking trips, but they will be looking for deals and ways to economize without giving up their summer vacations. […] While the number of trips is up, the number of nights away from home continues to decline from 7.6 nights last summer to 7 nights this summer on their longest leisure trip. Travelers plan on spending an average of $1,019 on their longest leisure trip this summer, a decrease of 7% from summer 2004 ($1,101).“

• Three out of four Americans plan to visit friends and relatives this summer, two-thirds will be at a beach and/or visiting small towns and rural areas. Many trips will include children this summer, with 37% of travelers taking kids on their longest trip, and 6% including a grandchild
• Traveling with one’s spouse is also popular (55%), as is traveling with other family members (19%) and traveling with friends (13%). The top three planned activities are visiting friends and relatives (75%), going to a beach or lake (70%) and visiting small towns or rural areas (64%).
• Rounding out the top ten summer traveler activities are: visiting cities/urban areas (54%), visiting national or state parks (47%), visiting historic sites (41%), camping, hiking or climbing (38%), fishing (36%), attending a family reunion (35%), or attending performing arts events (34%)
• What else will summer travelers be doing? One-third plan on visiting museums (33%), theme parks (31%), gambling casinos (26%) or attending cultural events such as ethnic festivals (24%).

PriceWaterhouseCoopers forecasts record demand for U.S. summer travel, predicting “that summer occupancy will be 71.4%; the highest since 2000 when occupancy was 72.1% (according to Smith Travel Research) but reflecting a strong 2.4 occupancy point increase over 2004 summer occupancy of 69%.  Supply has increased 6.7% since 2000. Summer room rates will be 4.5% higher than last year and 6.3% higher than 2000, achieving record highs. RevPAR (Revenue per Available Rate) this summer will increase 8.1% over last summer and be 5.4% higher than 2000. The PricewaterhouseCoopers Summer Lodging Forecast estimates that Fourth of July weekend occupancy will reach 70.6%, a 4.7% increase over 2004.  Labor Day Weekend occupancy is estimated to reach 72.3%, 2.5% higher than the level reached last year and a return to the level achieved in 2000. PriceWaterhouseCoopers hotel analyst Bjorn Hanson said “rates will be 6.3% higher than they were in the summer of 2000. Some of the stiffest increases will be found at resorts at popular destinations, which are charging up to 15% more than they did last year. Hanson said that hotels have been spending tons of money on upgrading, adding flat-screen TVs, wireless Internet service, better food and beverage offerings -- and guests are going to have to pay for all that stuff.”

Location and ratings are key: According to a survey by Market Horizons and commissioned by AAA the top ten factors when choosing accommodations are:

1.       Location in or near a destination city (93% of respondents)

2.       Proximity to a planned activity (90%),

3.       Price (86%),

4.       AAA member discount (82%)

5.       AAA Diamond Rating (72%). 

6.       Complimentary breakfast (60%)

7.       Cleanliness (45%)

8.       Having eco-friendly or green programs in recycling, landscaping, water conservation (34%)

9.       Having an indoor/outdoor pool (33%)

10.    Activities for children tied with allowing pets (tie, 20%)

“When asked to rate how well the hotels they stayed in met their expectations based on the property’s AAA Diamond Rating, 88% said the ratings were reliable and accurate. Among all leisure travelers, 54% agree that hotel ratings are important when selecting lodgings, according to the 2005 National Leisure Travel Monitor. According to research by the Travel Industry Association of America, a property’s AAA Diamond Rating is one of the top 20 considerations most travelers use when determining what hotel to stay in. No other rating entity makes TIA’s list of top 20.” 

PhocusWright reports increase in online travel spending:  A recent article in Travel Weekly explained that: “Researchers say travel buying in the U.S. has turned a corner: Excluding corporate travel, more travel dollars in the U.S. will be spent online this year than offline. And in 2006, with corporate travel in the mix, the travel dollars spent on the Web will have eclipsed those spent offline in the U.S., as well, the prognosticators say. In the U.S., some $66 billion, or 58%, of leisure and unmanaged business travel will be purchased online in 2005, according to PhoCusWright projections. And that figure climbs to $78.5 billion, or 66%, in 2006.

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