We couldn't find any B&B jokes on the Internet, but here are some hotel
jokes that may tickle your funny bone:
From www.jokecenter.com
Traveler's request: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me to stay at
your hotel. He is well-groomed and well behaved."
Hotelier's reply: "In the many years I've operated this hotel, I've never had a
dog steal towels, robes, silverware or pictures. I've never had to evict a dog
in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a
dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome. And, if your dog
will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
From www.workjoke.com
"Room service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait, someone else is using
it."
A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his
room. Five minutes later he calls the desk saying, "You've given me a room with
no exit. How do I leave?" The desk clerk replies: "Sir, that's absurd. Have you
looked for the door?" The person explains: "Well, there's one door that leads
to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a
door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it."
A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk
about the time of meals. "Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to
3, and supper from 6 to 8," explained the clerk. "Look here," inquired the
farmer in surprise, "when am I going to get time to see the city?"
A traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single
room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a
gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he
disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his
arm. "Fancy meeting my wife here," he says to the clerk. "Guess I'll need a
double room for the night." Next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and
finds the amount to be over $3000. "What's the meaning of this?" he yells at
the clerk. "I've only been here one night!" "Yes," says the clerk, "but your
wife has been here for three weeks."
|
Online hotel bookings: PhoCusWright, a travel research firm, reports
that online hotel bookings will increase from nine percent of total bookings to
one in five. "During the next three years, the distribution network will cause
fundamental changes in economic models as well as market leadership. With
occupancy rates the lowest they've been in years, hoteliers continue to work
with leading online travel agencies to move inventory. The result will be a 49%
increase in online hotel sales in 2002, to reach US$6.3 billion." Other key
findings include:
"While hotels will continue to be successful at building business on their Web
sites, growth will not come at the expense of online travel agencies. Consumers
simply prefer the property selection and choice online retailers offer.
By continuing their efforts to build Web sites that attract frequent guests and
provide superior value, hotels can stem the tide of Internet sales through
online travel agencies."
More info
U.S. winter travel forecast: According to the latest seasonal forecast
from the Travel Industry Association of America (TIA), travel by Americans will
remain relatively flat this winter (December, January, February). Americans are
expected to take more than 139 million pleasure person-trips during the winter
2002-2003 season, up just one-half percent from last winter. According to TIA's
Winter 2002-2003 Travelometer, 71 percent of travelers intend to travel for
pleasure or personal reasons while 39 percent plan to travel for business or
conventions this winter." More
info
Internet Travel News reports on British travel trends: According to the
Association of British Travel Agents (ABTA), "The combined events of September
11, 2001 and a slowing down of the global economy meant slightly fewer package
holidays were sold, but indications of early sales for summer 2003 means that
growth is expected to resume in 2003." Regarding travel trends, they note:
"Although 71% of package holidaymakers take a summer sun or beach holiday, the
relative cost of going abroad has come down, and so we are becoming more
demanding and adventurous. Activity holidays, for example, which include
cycling, skiing and water sports, now make up 8 per cent of package holidays."
On long-haul holidays, they note that "sales of around-the-world tickets have
increased and because destinations such as Australia, New Zealand, South Africa
and Thailand have not been affected by the recent terrorist problems, their
popularity has been maintained. Despite this, the US remains the number one
long-haul destination, while Australia is perceived by many to be 'the dream
destination'. " Short breaks have increased rapidly over the last few years,
increasing from 12 to 15 percent in five years. "Around 1.5 million people take
a ski holiday each year. The most popular destinations for skiing are resorts
in France, Austria and Italy. Many people are choosing to travel further
afield, taking advantage of the strong pound and availability of charter
flights, Canada and the United States have seen a massive rise in popularity
over the past 10 years."
More info
|
|
 |
|
|
 Christopher Place: An Intimate Resort,
East Tennessee
|
|
Our holiday promotions resulted in record sales of BedandBreakfast.com gift
certificates. The lucky recipients are going to be searching for B&Bs that
will redeem them. Make sure you're listed! To join the over 2400 participating
inns, just log in to your home base with your property ID and password, then
click Gift Certificate Program.
|
|
For your protection, your traffic statistics and member information are shown only
in the email we sent you. For more details, please log in with your property ID
and password. Can't remember your password?
Click here, then enter your property ID and we'll email it to you.
Don't like your password? Once you're logged in to Home Base, just click
"Change Password" (first item in the left-hand column), and choose another
that's easier to remember.
More information
|
Time to move on? Sell your property by listing it on the leading Internet site
for bed and breakfasts and inns, BedandBreakfast.com.
Email us today and we'll put you on our special offer mailing list. "BedandBreakfast.com
was responsible for excellent exposure, and sold my listing in just three
weeks.” Donald Hoffman, Thompson & Riley Ltd., Lexington, KY
Read
more
|
|
Taking real-time, online reservations is the most effective way to transform
your Internet presence from an informational resource into a 24/7 sales engine.
Read
more
|
|
Need more info? You’ll find lots of forms, tutorials, and educational articles
on our site for your convenience.
|
|
