Did We Write That?
You can never proofread carefully enough. Despite the computer age, terminal typos, mangled metaphors, and gruesome grammar are still with us. We plead guilty on all counts. Here are some bloopers on the subjects of location and setting, with our comments in italics.
"Location: On the USA/Canada border." Know just where that is-give or take 3000 miles.
"Excellent location, within walking discounts of everything you want to see and do." Drivers pay full price?
"A peaceful island of clam in the heart of town." Where's the island of lobster?
"Outstanding location just 20 years from the water." Sounds like Nevada to me.
"Extremely quiet, peachful setting." None of those noisy pears.
"The barns are home to cows, turkeys and horses whose job it is to draw winter sleighs and summer haywagons for guests' enjoyment." Guess it's better than being cooked.
"Guests enjoy the inn's walking trails, bicycling the country roads, and farting, tubing, and fishing on Sugar Creek." Some activities are more group-oriented than others.
"They have recently opened a shop on the premises, featuring Vermont artisans." There's Joe the potter, Sally the basket-weaver, and Bob the glass-blower.
"The porch faces a lovely ark in a quiet residential neighborhood." Don't worry unless it starts raining.
"We loved the private outdoor hot tub, from which we could see mountains and bald eagles flying by." Just duck when that flying mountain goes by.
"The closest inn to the ocean, it's just 100 years from the beach." Time flies when you're having fun.
"After a busy day of exploring, guests enjoy cooking off in the inn's swimming pool." Just so they don't cool off on the grill.
"The inn is reached by a long gassy driveway through the trees." An interesting approach.
"The inn is adjacent to the ferry dock, just 25 minutes by toast to Fisherman's Wharf." Row, row, row your toast, gently down the stream?
"Lawn games include horseshoes, badminton, and crochet." Knit one, score two?
The only noise we heard was the sound of the birds and cows mooing nearby. Cowbirds, perhaps?
"The hysteria was blooming and smelled heavenly." Everything's better on vacation.
"The setting is wonderfully historic, with colorful gardens, a pond with friendly dicks, and a working grist mill." Whatever you say.
"We spent several nights in the hammock after dinner." Time flies when you're having fun.
"Close to public transpiration services." All together now, inhale, exhale.
We want to hear from you! Please send your own bloopers, as well as entertaining ones you've received to InnkeeperNews@BedandBreakfast.com.
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