Did We Write That?

You can never proofread carefully enough. Despite the computer age, terminal typos, mangled metaphors, and gruesome grammar are still with us. We plead guilty on all counts. Here are some bloopers on the subject of food, with our comments in italics.

"A full country breakfast of eggs, sausages, biscuits and gravy, fried potatoes, fruit and juice is served along with antidotes on the home and town by the owner in the morning." Who wouldn't need an antidote after a breakfast like that! "Under the careful supervision of Chef Cartwright, menus are hanged weekly…" No wonder he quit. "A variety of tasty entrees are severed at reasonable prices." Is that what they do with old guillotines? The menus are recited in such a way that your mouth waters just listening to the meals. Sometimes the salad is a bit too chatty, though. "Delicious aftermoon tea served in the dunning room." And aftersun tea is offered in the payables room. "The sun porch is inviting for afternoon relaxing, with a refrigerator in which guests can keep themselves." At least on hot days. "Dinner entrees include veal with wild mushrooms, chicken with pesto, and road duck." As served at the Road Kill Café, perhaps? "Our favorite was the grilled loin of porch with wild mushrooms." Just so it's not fried. "The pub is a delightful place to meet the other requests." Where please pass the salt meets please pass the pepper? "Superb breakfasts with feather-like yogurt pancakes." And you thought peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth. "In the afternoon, a tea is scheduled with delicious homemade doodies." At least they're not store-bought!

If you've seen or experienced something you'd like to share, email us at InnkeeperNews@BedandBreakfast.com.

Required reading: Robert Mandelbaum, of PKF Consulting, has prepared an excellent abstract of the PAII Industry Study, accompanied by comments on expectations for the state of the industry in a slowing economy. Positive factors include relatively "recession-proof" guest profiles, both in terms of income and travel time; high owner involvement level; and ability to enhance value. The major negative aspect noted is the limited margin of error in a small operation with no corporate support. Click here to read Bed and Breakfast Inns: Performance in a Changing Economy.

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