Did We Write That?

You can never proofread carefully enough. Despite the computer age, terminal typos, mangled metaphors, and gruesome grammar are still with us. We plead guilty on all counts. Here are some bloopers on the subject of accommodations, with our comments in italics.

Ralph built the home himself and is beautifully furnished. Right out of GQ. This beautiful mansion was built by a railway magnet. Steel construction, right? "The inn is plagued by the County Historic Society." Under quarantine? "The inn is popular for weedings and other functions, so ask for details when booking." Feel free to come to my house for a weeding anytime. "Each of the four guest room shave a private bath." So what's wrong with a beard? "The fireplace was stocked and ready to light, with additional wood available in the hellway." Brimstone, too? "We stayed in the new edition, built in 1997." Now that's a big book. "Two rooms in the carriage hose." Three would be cramped, though. "Entering this 1833 Greek Revival mansion, you'll find the elegant decor tempered by the warmth of the innkeepers, who restored the house as an inn in 1833." Time flies when you're having fun. "She has lovingly restored this 1700s Colonial home with the help of her fiancée, who is in construction." We hope he'll be completed soon. This beautiful Victorian home is nestled along a meandering hillside of stately oaks. Those darn hillsides just won't stay put! Your eyes immediately start to wander the walls in this guest room. Lucky they're usually attached to your head.

If you've seen or experienced something you'd like to share, email us at InnkeeperNews@BedandBreakfast.com.

• Historic/cultural travelers are slightly older than other U.S. travelers (48 vs. 46) and they are more likely to have a post-graduate education (23% vs. 20%). One-third (34%) are 55 or older.
• Hotels, motels and B&B establishments are used 62 percent of the time by historic/cultural travelers compared to 56 percent of all travelers.
• Today, about one in five (21%) of total domestic person-trips (business and pleasure) includes an historic/cultural activity. In fact, historic/cultural travel volume is up 10 percent from 1996, increasing from 192.4 million person-trips to 212.0 million person-trips in 2000. A person-trip equals one person on one trip 50 miles or more, one-way, away from home or including an overnight stay.

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